Sometimes Moments Feeling

sometimes, in the quiet moments
when you fall asleep and i have yet to
i listen to your breathing
feeling as though our house is a house of God
and i am there to steal the silver

sometimes, in the painful moments
when one of us is angry at the other
i step back from the words and glances
feeling as though our room is a circus tent
and i want to laugh even through the bitterness

sometimes, in the perfect moments
when your skin is pressed to mine in need
i marvel at the fragility of what we do
feeling as though our bed is the mouth of a river
and i struggle to keep reality above the waterline

sometimes, in all the other moments
when things are easy and flowing and natural
i realize that love is work, and work is play
feeling as though our path is a staircase
and i don't care, up or down, just keep your hand in mine

Until Tomorrow Night

and as They flow down the hills
like blood from a new wound
i can hear Their wild and wanton cries of war
and i stand alone
waiting for Them
i have chosen the battlefield
and Their forms take those of my heart's deepest hate
and Their weapons glide through the air
and They howl at the sight of me
and i at Them

we join into battle
as eagerly as lovers join into sex
but these cries are not of pleasure
and the relief lasts much, much longer

i am aswirl
my blade flashing sweet, dark light
and terrible, bright death
as pieces fall
and blood turns grass and dirt to mud and slag

my breathing heavy
burning in and out of me
my eyes unfocused, stinging with sweat
as i chop down one and more and many
until They have to climb up Their own dead to get at me

and i know it might not be enough
it may have never been enough
to keep me connected to the real world
of dust and laundry and love and work
of little girl socks and pork chops and whiskey
when dreaming takes me so far away
farther every time, it seems
and each morning i have to wrench myself back into a world
where i've never been truly sure i belonged in the first place

and that world seems so far away now
a half-remembered scent of old dinners past
as i slay and scream and weep alone
with blood on my blade
and filth in my eyes
and, incongruously, a smile on my face
because i've finally found my calling
here i can be what i really want to be when i grow up
with no worries except for that of death
and death is the easiest worry to push aside

time bows to me
and i tire not
as armies fall beneath me
and lay unstirring

i am Shayne
son of Butch
son of Roger
son of George
and this world will feel my boot upon its throat
it will look up at me
and i will be the last fucking thing it sees
until tomorrow night

A Christmas, Darkened (Rabbits in the Tree)

a Christmas, darkened now
streetlight and moonlight and starlight
shining from the crusts of ice
making even the dirty snow seem clean

above me you slumber
as i thaw meat for our bellies
so that we may eat together soon

and of all the gifts i received
on this day and all the past others
You are the Gift i am most thankful for
You are the Gift i cling to most desperately
and You are the Gift i shall most strive to deserve

they say He died for our sins
but i say back that loving you is so pure
so free of sin
that He should be reborn again
and Easter occur months early
a birthday and a re-birthday for Him
and, as every other day,
for my love of You

Anew for You

you're wearing nature as your gown
with pinecone buttons
and a vineyard sash

you're decked out in mountains
with outcrop earrings
and feet snug in foothills

you're looking good in your ocean
with coral reef gloves
and a scarf of seagulls

every climate is yours
every environment suits itself to your needs
every time i look at you
the world ends and begins
anew
for you

To Be a Pillow

as you lay sleeping with your head on my lap
i am wishing i could watch your dreams unfold for you
but of course i cannot
they are safely ensconced within your lovely head
are they good ones?
where you get all that you deserve
and i am the man you need me to be?
do you watch us grow old together
and smile together sadly
as the little one becomes not so little?
do we walk through this long path of life
and on to the next?
soon, sleep will come for me as well
do you dream of me, angel?
for i surely will of you

To Gladly Drown

i drive a Saturn
but it's Venus who drives me
when every action is for my woman
and her smell crowds aside all thoughts in my head
her hands the scales on which i weigh decisions
and her ribs the vault that guards my treasure
her skin my appetizer, main course, and dessert
and her eyes
O!
gods
her
E
Y
E
S
like twin ponds beckoning, begging, pleading
to lose me in their depths
and i answer:
gladly

Crow and Raven

what's the difference between crow and raven
when you're too busy misbehavin'
savin' cents in jugs and baskets
layin' down in rose red caskets
ask its purpose, find its truth
mourn the loss of strength and youth
forsooth! you've found a secret door!
enter, enter, sweep the floor
decor of cedar, spruce and birch
each color causes hearts to lurch
besmirch that which you once held dear
wish that it would disappear
draw near, my child, and listen up
you must sow and reap before you sup